Yeah, Great Blog…

I don’t want to say much about Dark Knight, because you NEED to go and see for yourself. At the risk of a law suit, though, I will say one thing: Heath Ledger killed himself playing the Joker… and it was absolutely worth it.

 There. I said it.

 But seriously, Ledger’s brilliant performance calls attention to the Joker as one of the most revolting villains American entertainment has seen. And believe me, I’m one to appreciate a good villain when I see one.

 From since I can remember, I’ve been one of those people who’s drawn to the villain. For me, there are two categories of Villain: the repulsive ones (like the Joker), and the charismatic ones. The latter are the villains I appreciate. They’re bad, so I feel guilty liking them, but I go back and watch the movie again and again… just to see the villain.  

Here’s a quick list of Villains I freaking love:

Commodus in Gladiator

Okay, I know he’s eerie and a weenie and tries to make out his sister. But I absolutely fell in love with Joaquin Phoenix the first time I saw Gladiator. He does a phenomenal job, and manages to be insecure and imperfect enough that you wind up hating him but also pitying him. That’s quite an achievement.

 

 

Green Goblin in Spiderman

 

Umm… Willem Dafoe’s gorgeous and insane and BADASS. That maniacal Goblin laugh still gives me chills. And the way he just slides his wide smile over his teeth. Yeah seriously he’s awesome.

 

Jafar in Aladdin

Okay. Jafar had a cape with huge shoulder pads. And a nasssty goatee. And a sorcerer’s stick! You have to admit that the voice over performance was really very distinctive and good.

 

 

Scarecrow in Batman Begins

I think I’m actually just obsessed with Cillian Murphy’s lips.

 

Agent Smith from the Matrix

Bring up The Matrix in conversation with any group of people, and guaranteed someone will pipe up, “Missster Annnderson…” Hugo Weaving’s half human/half machine performance was the highlight of the movie. That balance made him even more terrifying, but all the more approachable.

 

[An aside from the editorial department: You also have to consider that, given the chance, Mister Potato Head would look like an Acadamy Award winning actor when put onscreen with Mr. Keanu I-made-a-career-of-killing-great-scripts-with-my-lack-of-expression-and-monotone Reeves.]

 

 

So this site has been pretty much forgotten, yes? Is anyone still reading?

Well fear not! I am here with a new sex toy that will rock your world. Forget the sex swing and the ramp, I want the Body Bouncer. This thing looks amazing! It cost $199.95, which sounds like a lot, but this thing has potential. It also seems to be a lot less conspicuous then the 2 other items I mentioned.

I mean…will you look at the groove gallery? This thing has some SERIOUS potential. The ones I would be trying first: Sixty-Nine, Ninety-Six, Doghouse, Bliss Box, Plunger…I could go one. I really want this.

Hey, it is my birthday in 5 days. Maybe I’ll get one for that!

As I was walking to work this morning I saw a young woman pushing a stroller while she was smoking.  I noticed this from behind (but was luckily far enough away that the smoke did not affect me) and could only see the telltale line of smoke whirling around her head and drifting like powdery snow down to where I could assume a small child was sitting.  This woman was puffing and puffing away, almost flaunting her filthy and death-causing habit to passersby.  

I had to stifle my outrage, biting my lower lip so hard that I was sure I would draw blood any second.  If someone chooses to smoke and damage their own lungs, fine.  I don’t agree with that decision but I’m not going to try to convince you to stop.  However, if you allow your disregard for health to influence another human being, and in this case a human being that is not old enough to either move away or voice their own objection, I feel nothing but hatred for you.  

I have asthma.  Whenever I find myself walking behind someone who is smoking I suddenly cannot breathe.  I have to force myself to sprint past the offender so the smoke will no longer clog my throat and make me dizzy.  I grew up with parents who smoked all the time and I always had to rush into another room when they lit up.  Smokers should be ostracized from society completely when they partake in their disgusting and harmful behavior.  On a recent roadtrip I was appalled that restaurants in other states still have smoking sections, at least one of which I had to cross through to reach the restroom of the establishment.  I guess I was spoiled growing up in New York where smoking is outlawed in public spaces.  However I know that I will never be able to stop people from smoking on the streets and I just have to keep my laces tied tight for the inevitable sprinting I will have to do in a vain attempt to save my lungs.

Today was different.  Today a defenseless small child was being subjected to harmful smoke.  In my mind that’s abuse.  I know others feel differently, but I think intentionally exposing a child to dangerous chemicals is wrong.  I wanted to run up to this woman and shake some sense into her, but I didn’t because I hate confrontation and didn’t want to be prosecuted for some sort of assault.  

I continued to feel bad for the baby that I knew was suffering in that stroller as the woman wheeled towards the bus stop on my left and turned sideways to board the approaching Silver Line.  For the first time I got a look at both the woman’s and the baby’s faces.  The woman was seemingly of hispanic descent, dark hair and eyes and a brown (but not African-American) complexion.  The baby couldn’t have been more than a year old and was as Aryan as they come with pale white skin, bright blue eyes and so blond it’s almost white hair.  This made me wonder if this woman was this child’s mother or perhaps his babysitter/nanny.

Yes, it’s possible that she was the child’s mother, but highly unlikely in my book, even if the father was Mr. White America himself.  Maybe the child was adopted, that’s certainly plausible.  Even in these cases my outrage is sustained because parents should protect their children, not harm them with their own behavior.

But if this woman was the child’s nanny that’s a whole other type of rage.  If I found out that my child’s nanny was smoking around him I would fire her on the spot, no explanation necessary.  The thought that someone being paid to take care of a child would have such a blatant disregard for the child’s well-being sent a flash of anger through my chest.  

I’ll never know the relationship between the woman and the child, nor whether this woman will ever learn the error of her ways.  I can only hope that the child doesn’t suffer any long term damage from this.  You might think that I’m overreacting, but I have seen from personal experience the damage that cigarette smoking can cause.  The next generation should be protected from that.

So I went to the new Apple store on Boylston St. in Boston the other day and realized something highly amusing (at least from my standpoint).  On macs there is an application called dashboard that when selected puts a bunch of useful widgets on your screen, including a current weather and five day forecast for any city that you set it to.  However, little known fact apparently, if you just type in Boston the widget will automatically provide the weather for Boston, Georgia because this Boston comes first alphabetically.  Therefore, when you clicked on dashboard for the weather report on any of the tons of the computers on the three floors of the store you were given a rather sunny and brutally hot forecast that was woefully incorrect for the user’s current location.  

I am not technically inclined in the slightest, but, if I figured this out, wouldn’t you think at least one of the so called “geniuses” that works at the store would’ve noticed this and corrected it immediately?

For a starting price of $1099, I want a computer that will automatically conform to my specific intended settings, whether I’m able to coherently request them or not.

If there’s one thing this presidential campaign has brought to light, it’s that America is sexist. Now, we women knew that already because we have to deal with sexism as part of our day-to-day lives, but I can’t tell you how many men I know (my boyfriend included) that stubbornly insist that sexism is a thing of the past.

Just to put it out there: I don’t like Hillary Clinton. In fact, I hate her. I’m glad she’s not going to win the democratic primary, because she’s corrupt and her ideas would destroy America (okay… next time I’ll tell you how I really feel). 

So you understand that I’m not a fan.

But stuff like this t-shirt really makes me sick. It’s one thing to disagree with her as a politician, but to attack her because she’s a woman — and we’ve seen so much of that in the past year — is point-black unacceptable. Why does she get picked on for what she wears? Why is she called a “thing,” and “the right man for the job… Not,” and, most shockingly and important, why is she repeatedly attacked with nasty language, as you see above, that attacks her femininity, and not her occupation as a politician?

You don’t see anyone calling Obama a manwhore or McCain a gigolo… why are they calling Hillary a whore (and worse)?

So I was late leaving for work this morning (*sigh* big surprise) and I caught the first few minutes of The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet on Fox.  Now I had never heard of this show before, so I’m not sure how widely syndicated it is, but suffice it to say that it’s like Regis and Kelly on crack.  They pick the most ridiculous stories to cover and ask the most obviously poised to create drama and unnecessary controversy questions, from what I can tell from their website.

This morning one of their stories was about the growing trend of mothers taking their toddler daughters for spa treatments:  manicures, pedicures, facials, massages, waxing– the whole enchilada as some of the gringos at work say when they are trying to fit in with the Bilingual Editors.  In the interest of appearing to be fair, there were two sets of guests, one mother and her four year old daughter who go to the spa all the time and see nothing wrong with it and another mother and her sixteen year old daughter who is forbidden to go to the spa.  The spa loving mother’s argument was (and I’m quoting directly) “I want my daughter to know that she is a princess in my eyes and a princess in god’s eyes.”  She also said that she wants her daughter to know that she should be pampered and take good care of herself so guys in the future won’t take advantage of her.  How the hell is this little girl going to grow up with a healthy sense of self?  Once she is old enough to understand how the real world works, she is going to realize that she isn’t that special and she will no doubt be crushed and drown herself in the local spa’s hot tub.  I am all for promoting self-esteem, but fostering a sense of entitlement to be waited on hand and foot is damaging in the long run.  Perhaps a manicure as a rare treat or in preparation for a special event is okay as many little girls love doing “big girl” things, but having your daughter be accustomed to this sort of treatment on a regular basis will warp her sense of reality.  

On the other hand, I think forbidding your sixteen year old from attending the spa EVER is a little extreme.  Sixteen year olds, while not exactly rational human beings, are capable of recognizing the treatment you receive at a spa as a luxury and not a right.  Being a teenager can be wicked stressful and maybe girls would stop beating each other up and sleeping with their teachers if they got a massage every once in awhile.  Being able to relax is very important when the stress of life as you teeter on the precipice between childhood and adulthood is overwhelming.  This mother’s argument was that spa’s promote an unhealthy expectation of what women should look like, how they should groom themselves for society’s benefit.  I think that a sixteen year old can decide for herself if she wants to get her nails done or have a facial.  I don’t think participating in these activities sparingly will make a teenager think that she has to put this amount of time, effort and money into her appearance on a daily basis.  The teenagers who believe that are going to believe that whether or not they are permitted to indulge in a spa.  

Personally, I’ve never been to a spa per-se and have only had my nails done for the two proms I attended in high school.  However, I can see the benefit of getting pampered and perhaps when I have more discretionary income I will treat myself to such.  But seeing as the economy is being strangled closer and closer to oblivion with each day that passes, I don’t see myself being able to afford this luxury any time soon. 

Whether it likes it or not, the entire American population is participating in ”Get thin and buy clothes” program.

See, no one can afford gas so everyone’s walking everywhere. No one can afford to buy food because of the ridiculous prices, so no one’s eating. AND (best of all) because of the faltering economy, stores (luxury stores like Saks and Neiman’s included) are marking down their merchandise three months earlier than last year, and marking it down a LOT, because they’re finding that people no longer want to pay full price. Believe it or not, they’re seeing a 20% increase in profits than last year. Hmmm… are retailers finally realizing that their clothes are disgustingly overpriced and people never like to overpay?

Anyway check out the nasty sales. If you’re into brand names, Nordstrom.com and Lordandtaylor.com have some dirt cheap stuff. Urbanoutfitters.com also has a bunch of site markdowns. But aside from these places, it’s generally worth it to visit the store physically because they usually have additional markdowns (Bloomingdales, Club Monaco, J.Crew and the shopping mall bunch).

I read this article about how the color of you car says something about you as a person.

People who own emerald green automobiles, it turns out, have the most positive attitude about the course of their own lives.

Dark blue and silver are other colors chosen by upbeat people.

Red supposedly connotes an aggressive, high-speed personality, while yellow, theoretically, is for folks with sunny dispositions.

I own a yellow car. But, I’d hardly say I have a sunny disposition. FAR FROM IT.

People whose car is:	Have confidence that is:
Emerald green	5.5% above average
Dark blue	3.2% above average
Silver	1.2% above average
White	Average
Sunny yellow	3.7% below average
Orange	4.1% below average
Bright blue	5.5% below average
Bright yellow	8.3% below average
Red	8.8 % below average
Black	14.6% below average

I mean, at least my confidence level is only 3.7% below average, right? Or would my car be classified as “bright yellow” and not “sunny yellow”? In that case, I’m a basket case!

I’d say this is a crock of shit, really. I know plenty of people who completely contradict those results. Who did they poll, anyway? Who are these 1,900 Americans?

Sedate colors, not surprisingly, correlate with consistent moods. But if a primary color suddenly fills your rear-view mirror—well, it’s probably best to get out of the way.

There are better clinical indicators of mental health, needless to say, but Art Spinella of CNW says car color can be a useful “people-matching” tool.

“Your accountant should drive something silver,” he advises.

Interesting.

People whose car is:	Experience:
Black, dark blue, or silver	Consistent moods
White, sunny yellow, or bright blue	Modest mood swings
Orange, red, bright yellow, or emerald green	The most pronounced mood swings

Well, I do have some mood swings when I’m driving, but the severity of the swings depends on the mood I was in prior to the change. Like, if I was pissed off already, chances are you’ll see some road rage! If I was calm, chances are I’ll let most things slide. Maybe.

My mother has had the same bedroom set of furniture since Bill Clinton took office for his first term.  She recently finally decided that she had enough money to buy a new set.  She was further motivated to make the change by redecorating the master bedroom with a new color of paint and carpet after sleeping amongst the same vomit-inducing shade of mint green for the past ten years.  This redecorating was completed almost four months ago, so I inquired this morning about how the new furniture was treating her and my stepfather.

After waiting for three months for the set to be delivered, it finally came this past Tuesday.  Everything that could possibly go wrong with this process did.  First, they said that they would be delivering the set on Monday, so my stepfather took the entire day off of work in order to grant access to the house.  The company called at 6pm to say that they wouldn’t be able to make it that day and would come on Tuesday.  So my mother had to take Tuesday off and wait around.  Knowing that neither she nor my stepdad would be capable of transporting the furniture from a truck outside to their bedroom inside, my mother opted to pay extra for the delivery service that will move the pieces right into the room, unpack them and assemble if necessary. 

So of course when the truck finally does show up, there is one rather scrawny man accompanying the furniture who unloads the pieces onto the driveway and starts to bid my mother adieu.  She stops him, my mother can be rather demanding when necessary as several years of living under her rule has taught me, and fights with him to bring the furniture inside.  Obviously, she feels bad that the guy has to do it himself but it’s really not her problem that the company only sent one mover.  After about half an hour of back and forth, the guy finally agrees to move the furniture into the house (no doubt after hearing about my mother’s painful health issues).

After inspecting the furniture, my mother realizes why the guy wanted to leave as quickly as possible.  Every single piece was damaged in some way.  Some of the pieces have scratch marks and dents that were probably made in transit, which while unfortunate is not exactly the manufacturers’ fault, but some of the pieces were defective from seemingly “shoddy workmanship” (her words, not mine).  One of the bedside table’s paint does not match the rest of the set and some of the dresser drawers do not close all the way.  The mirror on the headboard is cracked.  You get the picture.

Now my mother is trying to figure out how to complain about this awful service and either receive a repair, or a new finished and pristine set of furniture.  She hasn’t gotten far in her search as she found the company online and can’t find a working set of contact information.

Apparently, she tried to check out the company before she purchased the furntiure.  She found glowing reviews online and believed the company’s claim of a 99% satisfaction rate.  There were no complaints filed against the company with the Better Business Bureau.  She thought she had found a good deal and would get her money’s worth.

I know she shoulders part of the blame here for this disaster, but I can’t help wondering how many other people have been scammed in a similar manner.  Shouldn’t there be a better way of keeping track of online companies that fail their clients?

As much as I hate the annoying TV commercials, when it comes time for me to furnish my own apartment, I am going to a physical store and interacting with a human being face to face before I hand over any cash. 

Or, to be more specific, SLEEP.

I’ve been having these weird insomniac issues lately. Like, last night I wasn’t able to fall asleep until after 5AM. I went into my room at about midnight, hopeful for an early night… and ended up reading almost the entire new DOUBLE issue of Entertainment Weekly, watched an episode of Gossip Girl on my computer, surfed the internet for about an hour, and then proceeded to play about two hours’ worth of Bejeweled 2. I finally turned the lights off after 5, it was already starting to get light outside, and just laid there for God only knows how long until I fell asleep.

I just graduated college and am waiting to move back home. In the meantime, I don’t have anything to do and am stuck in this sort of limbo because I can’t get a JOB to occupy my time, and I’m supposed to be saving my money, so I can’t really DO anything. So, I end up staying in my little apartment, going slightly mad I should say, and just waiting for a time when I actually have something to do.  Because of this, my sleep schedule has gotten all fucked up.  I can’t fall asleep until, as I’ve pointed out, really late at night, and I end up sleeping in way too late.  Today I woke up around 12:45PM.  And tonight, I’m sure it’ll happen ALL OVER AGAIN.

There have also been weird dreams going through my head at night. Has anyone else ever had test dreams? Like, you’re late for a test, or you missed a test, or you’re taking an important test that you don’t know any of the answers to? I’ve been having one of those dreams ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. I’m not in school anymore, I have to remind myself when I wake up in a cold sweat, it was just a dream.

These dreams usually happen whenever I haven’t written in a while. I’m a writer, and I think this is my brain telling me to get going again!

Maybe I should do that now. Probably not, but it’s nice to dream.  Dream of writing, I mean, not of missing tests.  I fucking hate that.